Coming To Terms

Most people aren’t attracted to me. That I realized a long time ago. How could I deny it? The rumor mill is really quite efficient and such juicy tidbits as who likes who generally sped pretty quickly. So I’m quite confident in my knowledge of just how few people have been attracted to me, even accounting for a generous margin of error. So I realized it a long time ago; what’s taken time, however, is learning to accept that fact without bitterness–and that I’ve only managed to do in the past year. Don’t get me wrong–I’m envious of people who have such good fortune as to be paired romantically, and I do desire it for myself. But, finally, I’ve managed to come to terms with the fact that most people aren’t attracted to me. And, what’s funny is I don’t really know how I did it. I do know that I prize my friends and family very highly; I know that I don’t go out of my way to pick up people or to present myself in an attractive light. But those things have been true for quite some time. In fact, the only thing I can think of that has changed that might have some bearing to this is that I’ve finally come to accept what I’ve been constantly told for a while now: I present well to people and I’m generally likable. A while ago, I created a profile on Yeah, I know, dating sites aren’t the most savvy thing but hey, I figured I had nothing to lose by at least registering on the site, and a lot to gain. And I know it’s a questionable source, but the summary of my personality based on my answers to the questionnaire struck a chord with me. Basically, it said that people generally find me easy to get along with because even though I may disagree I generally let people do their own thing. And I’ve got to admit that’s pretty much been my approach since an experience in Grade 8 opened my eyes to the shade of grey in the universe that had previously been pretty black and white to me. So perhaps coming to terms with the probability of me being likable to most people has afforded me some consolation with the fact that I’m not attractive to most people. Perhaps. Whatever the reason though, I am now content to let romantic relationships happen at their own pace. If it is my destiny to be alone, then I am content with that. If it is my destiny to find true love, I will be content with that. What will come, will come. Que sera, sera. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3)

Published by Devin Hogg

My name is Devin Hogg. I was born and raised in Carnarvon, Ontario, Canada. I moved to Guelph, Ontario, Canada in 2009 for university and lived here ever since. In my free time, I enjoy reading, watching TV and movies, going on long walks, swimming, and practicing Chen style Tai Chi. I love to write poetry and blog regularly about topics such as mental health, sci-fi/fantasy series, faith, sexuality, and politics.

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