I started blogging because I was required to for a Grade 11 project. I continued to because it helped me organize my thoughts and committed some part of me to posterity. And now, I continue to blog because I am at heart, an open person. I long to share my story, my struggles, my emotions with all who will listen. I am not surrounded by a great deal of acceptance, especially on a day to day basis and perhaps I hope that by being open with all, just one person will understand and accept. And I continue to long for the day when I can be completely open with another, when I can share my deepest longings, my deepest fears without fearing her rejection of me, her denial of me, where I can be in a relationship of complete openness and acceptance. It may be a high ideal, and perhaps I am too slow to trust with some things, but I know one day I will find this person and share with her everything about me and who I want to be. I realize this may seem at odds with my previous posts about being sure I will never find the love of a lover and perhaps it reflects my own confusion on the matter. There are times when I am sure without bitterness, with only a faint regret that I am not meant for love. There are other times when I feel certain that I will one day find the relationship I so, a desire. Could both be true? I am after all, a follower of the Goddess (it is perhaps now time to reveal that I committed myself ritually to following the ways of the Goddess last spring and I must say my life has undoubtedly improved since then), so perhaps they are both true. Perhaps, I will not find the love of a lover in this mortal life, but I will be bound in a relationship beyond understanding with the Goddess when I die. Or perhaps my fate of romance in undecided at the moment–or I am being kept in the dark (if there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain of, it’s that the universe has a great sense of the ridiculous often quite inconveniently to us mortals). Whatever the reason, I’ll practice what I preach, and accept what comes as it comes.
Published by Devin Hogg
My name is Devin Hogg. I was born and raised in Carnarvon, Ontario, Canada. I moved to Guelph, Ontario, Canada in 2009 for university and lived here ever since. In my free time, I enjoy reading, watching TV and movies, going on long walks, swimming, and practicing Chen style Tai Chi. I love to write poetry and blog regularly about topics such as mental health, sci-fi/fantasy series, faith, sexuality, and politics. View more posts