Poem: Battle Against Myself

Pain in my heart
Separation
Discord and anxiety
I hate it when this
Happens to me

I feel overwhelmed
And isolated
Fighting tears that
Threaten to well
In my eyes

I try to reason
Try to ignore the pain
But I fail
There is no rhyme
Or reason to
The feelings I am
Suffering from

They come and go
And go and come again
They are ever present in
My life
I try to fight it
But it is a losing battle
An inner conflict that
Threatens to tear me apart

I fear I’ll say or do
The wrong thing
So I do nothing at all
Pretend that to sit alone
Is the normal state of affairs

But it is not
And I know it
I feel alone and
Abandoned
Now I must wait
And hope and see

All will turn out
Well in the end
I will not let
Despair claim me
This is the fight of
My life
And for my life
Against myself

This is the fight
I fight every day
Several times a day
It is part of who I am

The stakes are clear
If I win, I go on living
No matter how bad I feel
If I lose, I fall into a pit
And every day I am in that pit
My life is at risk from myself

Let us hope I win
This battle against myself
And continue to win it every
Day of my life
Or in one instant
When I falter
My bright spark
May cease to exist
Consumed by the fire within

Published by Devin Hogg

My name is Devin Hogg. I was born and raised in Carnarvon, Ontario, Canada. I moved to Guelph, Ontario, Canada in 2009 for university and lived here ever since. In my free time, I enjoy reading, watching TV and movies, going on long walks, swimming, and practicing Chen style Tai Chi. I love to write poetry and blog regularly about topics such as mental health, sci-fi/fantasy series, faith, sexuality, and politics.

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