Poem: Bathroom Woes

They say you should love your body
Sometimes it’s easier than others.
Since I was born
Had a weak stomach
Weak bladder too.
Traitorous insides
Weren’t made strong enough
To resist the weight
Of anxiety and depression.
Constantly rushing
To make it on time.
Each trip to the bathroom
Explosive and radioactive
As a nuclear bomb.
Worsens when working
Yet somehow I’m the villain
When I don’t see every spot.
I’d love to live alone
Have a toilet
All to myself
My responsibility only.
Yet the very same reason
I can’t afford to live alone
Is the same reason
I have my bathroom woes.
Be thankful
You don’t have to live
With the constant leaking
Underwear spotted and stinking.
The pain in your gut
The eternal doubt
Whether you will ever
Be able to handle a job.
The eternal fear
That no woman exists
Who can love a man
As full of shit
As me.