Poem: I Am Not Okay

I Am Not Okay

I am not okay.
At work
I do my best
Give my all
Always knowing
I will never excel.
Always fearing
The one mistake
That will bring it all
Come crashing down.
I am not okay.
At home
I read
And I write.
I push my body
Work my mind
Try to drive the demons away
Yet they remain
Always present within me.
I am not okay.
My guts clench
With stress
With pain.
Tears fill my eyes;
Loneliness fills my being;
I long for love
Yet doubt my worth.
I am not okay.
I am too tired
Struggling to hold on
Longing for sleep
Wanting relief.
I am not okay
And
I am not alone.
In the depths of my pain
In the aching loneliness of my heart
The Spirit is with me.
Helping me to hold on.
To love
And remain open to love;
To choose hope;
To practice faith.
I am not okay
And that is okay.
I will be.