Poem: Struggling These Days

I am struggling these daysConstant ache in my gutConstant fist squeezing my heart.Fighting back tearsMore often than e’er before;Chills coursing down my spinAt all times of the day.My grip is slippingIt’s harder and harderTo find hope;To trust in faith;To believe myselfLovable and worthy of love.I knowFriends and family are onlyA phone call awayYet I can’tContinue reading “Poem: Struggling These Days”

Love On The Spectrum: A Plea For Reflection

Recently, Season Two of the Netflix show Love On The Spectrum was released. I want to share some thoughts and a plea from my perspective and lived experience as a cisgender, heterosexual heteromantic male in my early 30s to who struggles with singleness and is quite behind in terms of romantic developmental milestones. Full disclosure:Continue reading “Love On The Spectrum: A Plea For Reflection”

Poem: Rule-Breaker

Before I met youBuilt a wall around my heartSwore not to fall againSo fastSo hard.Built moats to separateMy different circlesGuarding againstFuture disappointments.When you came into my lifeWalls came tumbling down;All my barriersCrumble awayWhen you are around.You bring out the rule-breaker in me.You break out the risk-taker in me.That is rare indeed!Yet more than thatYou makeContinue reading “Poem: Rule-Breaker”

30th Birthday Reflections

Today is my 30th birthday! As is my habit, I thought I’d share some reflections on the past and some hopes for my future. This year, I find myself looking back not only on the past year, but on my twenties as a whole. I recall that, upon entering my twenties, I thought that myContinue reading “30th Birthday Reflections”

Poem: Entrenched In My Heart

Entrenched In My Heart My heart is full tonightOf love and pain.I tried to keep my distance,Temper my hopes,Build walls around my heart;all my efforts are for naught.You mean more to meThan I can ever say.I know I cannot give you what you desire.I know I cannot be the man you want for all time.IContinue reading “Poem: Entrenched In My Heart”

Poem: I Am Not Okay

I am not okay.At workI do my bestGive my allAlways knowingI will never excel.Always fearingThe one mistakeThat will bring it allCome crashing down.I am not okay.At homeI readAnd I write.I push my bodyWork my mindTry to drive the demons awayYet they remainAlways present within me.I am not okay.My guts clenchWith stressWith pain.Tears fill my eyes;LonelinessContinue reading “Poem: I Am Not Okay”

Poem: Spring 2021

As evening draws nearI walk the pathHeavy weight on my shouldersGut clenchedTears pricking at my eyes.People all aroundClustered in groupLaughing and chatting.I walk alone.Loneliness risesThreatens to drown meIn dark despair.I’m tired of being alone.Longing for love:To be reminded ofLight and life;To find reliefFrom constant struggle.I look aheadSee no end to his pain.Cry out the LordForContinue reading “Poem: Spring 2021”

Poem: Time Drags On

Tik-tok.Tik-tok.Time drags on.I trudge onOne footThen the other.Weariness fills my soul.My body aches in protest.My mind screams in anguish.What is there to hope for?What is there to fight for?In a life without love?“Lord,” I cry“Help me to hold onHelp me to choose hopeHelp me to trustThat love will come”.The Lord answers me,“Trust your feelings.You areContinue reading “Poem: Time Drags On”

Poem: A Sign

You areA light in the dark.The time we spend togetherKeeps me sane when we’re apart.You give me hopeThat all may one dayTurn out alright after all.I wish I could tell youHow I feelConfess the love in my heart.Fear bars that path:That I am not good enoughThat I am not the right one.Know that I shouldContinue reading “Poem: A Sign”

Poem: What Is The Point?

It wells up againDark wave of despair.I feel the weightOf all I’ve failed to do;All the mistakes I’ve made.The future looks bleak indeedLonely and cold.I cry out to the Lord,“What is the point?Why won’t you let me rest?I loveBut I cannot confess my love;I loveBut I must let go out of love.I workBut I amContinue reading “Poem: What Is The Point?”