Poem: Struggling These Days

I am struggling these daysConstant ache in my gutConstant fist squeezing my heart.Fighting back tearsMore often than e’er before;Chills coursing down my spinAt all times of the day.My grip is slippingIt’s harder and harderTo find hope;To trust in faith;To believe myselfLovable and worthy of love.I knowFriends and family are onlyA phone call awayYet I can’tContinue reading “Poem: Struggling These Days”

Love On The Spectrum: A Plea For Reflection

Recently, Season Two of the Netflix show Love On The Spectrum was released. I want to share some thoughts and a plea from my perspective and lived experience as a cisgender, heterosexual heteromantic male in my early 30s to who struggles with singleness and is quite behind in terms of romantic developmental milestones. Full disclosure:Continue reading “Love On The Spectrum: A Plea For Reflection”

30th Birthday Reflections

Today is my 30th birthday! As is my habit, I thought I’d share some reflections on the past and some hopes for my future. This year, I find myself looking back not only on the past year, but on my twenties as a whole. I recall that, upon entering my twenties, I thought that myContinue reading “30th Birthday Reflections”

Poem: I Am Not Okay

I am not okay.At workI do my bestGive my allAlways knowingI will never excel.Always fearingThe one mistakeThat will bring it allCome crashing down.I am not okay.At homeI readAnd I write.I push my bodyWork my mindTry to drive the demons awayYet they remainAlways present within me.I am not okay.My guts clenchWith stressWith pain.Tears fill my eyes;LonelinessContinue reading “Poem: I Am Not Okay”

Poem: Spring 2021

As evening draws nearI walk the pathHeavy weight on my shouldersGut clenchedTears pricking at my eyes.People all aroundClustered in groupLaughing and chatting.I walk alone.Loneliness risesThreatens to drown meIn dark despair.I’m tired of being alone.Longing for love:To be reminded ofLight and life;To find reliefFrom constant struggle.I look aheadSee no end to his pain.Cry out the LordForContinue reading “Poem: Spring 2021”

Poem: Time Drags On

Tik-tok.Tik-tok.Time drags on.I trudge onOne footThen the other.Weariness fills my soul.My body aches in protest.My mind screams in anguish.What is there to hope for?What is there to fight for?In a life without love?“Lord,” I cry“Help me to hold onHelp me to choose hopeHelp me to trustThat love will come”.The Lord answers me,“Trust your feelings.You areContinue reading “Poem: Time Drags On”

Poem: What Is The Point?

It wells up againDark wave of despair.I feel the weightOf all I’ve failed to do;All the mistakes I’ve made.The future looks bleak indeedLonely and cold.I cry out to the Lord,“What is the point?Why won’t you let me rest?I loveBut I cannot confess my love;I loveBut I must let go out of love.I workBut I amContinue reading “Poem: What Is The Point?”

Quotes on Love For Valentine’s Day 2021

From the Dragonriders of Pern series “There are many ways of loving”–F’lar rider of bronze Mnementh in Dragonquest by Anne McCaffrey. From NCIS: “Love is never going to come easy. Yes, it is scary and it’s messy as hell but it cannot be an option. So when true love does come along you need toContinue reading “Quotes on Love For Valentine’s Day 2021”

Times, Purposes and Hope

If there is one Bible verse that has defined my life, it is Ecclesiastes 3:1: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (NRSV). As the first month of 2021 draws to a close, I think it important to reflect upon this verse. We knew things would not beContinue reading “Times, Purposes and Hope”

Looking Back On 2020

As 2020 comes to an end, I thought I’d be completely unoriginal and share some reflections on what the past year looked like for me. As with all years, 2020 was a mix of good and bad–though the pandemic certainly added a wrinkle that I did not foresee. Professional Life At the start of 2020,Continue reading “Looking Back On 2020”