Poem: Frustrated At Myself

I carry
A heavy burden.
Feel the cold chill
Down my spine.
The weight
Of all my hopes
All my love
In vain.
I am not
Strong enough;
Wise enough;
Smart enough;
Loving enough;
To be a good friend.
For her to accept me
To love me.
If only
I could be
A little bit stronger
A little bit better.
There are times
When I curse
The fact
I’m a marked man.
The way I am.
“Oh Lord,”
I cry,
“What purpose is there in this?
What is a life worth
Without love?
Constantly harming?
Constantly fucking up?
I am so weary.
Can’t I lay down
The weary load yet?
Stop feeling this pain
Simply rest?”
“No,” The Lord answers me,
“Not ye.t
Have faith
All will work out.”
I struggle to
Hold onto hope
Hold onto life
For every breath.

Published by Devin Hogg

My name is Devin Hogg. I was born and raised in Carnarvon, Ontario, Canada. I moved to Guelph, Ontario, Canada in 2009 for university and lived here ever since. In my free time, I enjoy reading, watching TV and movies, going on long walks, swimming, and practicing Chen style Tai Chi. I love to write poetry and blog regularly about topics such as mental health, sci-fi/fantasy series, faith, sexuality, and politics.

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