Poem: Keep My Heart Open

The city is full again
After a quiet summer.
I look around
See couples walking everywhere.
The pain wells in my heart.
I am reminded
Of all the loves I’ve had.
All that I’ve let go.
While I know
That was what
I had to do
I fear that
With each sacrifice of self
With each loss of hope
I have built
Brick by brick
A wall around my heart.
Plate by plate
I’ve forged myself armour.
Armour of distance
Of fear
Of avuncular compassion.
I fear the day is coming
Where I will to be numb.
Too closed off
To the risk of pain.
And thus
To the love that comes
Only from vulnerability.
I am not there yet.
I strive to keep my heart open.
With the aid of the Spirit
I may yet prevail for a time.
Yet I will need
Someone soon
To remind me of the light.
To help me through the struggle.
To prove to me
That love and hope were not in vain.
May it be so.
Amen.