Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020!

Well, 2019 was, as all years are, a mix of good and bad, joy and sorrow, grief and love. Over the past year, a lot of really good stuff has happened. My medication change bore fruit and for the first time in years I feel rested after 6-8 hours of sleep, and I’m getting upContinue reading “Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020!”

Poem: Ode To Uncle Don

My father’s sister’s husbandPassed away of late.After years of long struggleRest has finally come.Genetic ticking time bombWaiting in his heart.Threatened to steal him from usThese past thirty years or so.Knowledge and scienceAdvances in meds and techBlessing of the SpiritDefied death’s clenching grasp.I will always rememberHis great wit.Open curiosity.Delight in learningAnd sharing.The summer days we spentOnceContinue reading “Poem: Ode To Uncle Don”

Poem: Escaping Loneliness

I lie in bedStaring at the ceiling.I feel the darkness risingThe lonely aching emptinessCarving out my soul.I curl into a ballHope to smother the pain.My heart is poundingSqueezed by a tight fist.Tear began to well in my eyes.Heat flushes across my skin.So I riseAnd I flee.I run and I swim.I walk.I practice Tai Chi.I tryContinue reading “Poem: Escaping Loneliness”

Poem: Ode To Dylan

We laid you to rest todayMy old friend.Still can’t quite comprehendThe violence of your endThe utter unfairness of it all.I know we’ve walkedDifferent roads of lateHaven’t crossed paths in years.Still I took comfortKnowing you were out there.I shall never forgetThe times we shared.The role you played.The support you gave.The lessons you taughtAll when I mostContinue reading “Poem: Ode To Dylan”

Poem: Life, Death, And Life Beyond Death

Spring has comeLife blooms anew.Green risesAnimals mateHumans frolicAnd rejoice.Yet death haunts my mindFamily loved dearlyHave limited time.Unknown exactly whenYet certain the endWill be far too soon.A prophetic voice silencedLegends falling victimTo age and fortune;Life and death;Light and dark;Yin and yang;Constant flow;Circle of life.“What’s the point?”I cry,“Why must they fallWhy the painOf death and sorrow?”The LordContinue reading “Poem: Life, Death, And Life Beyond Death”

Poem: Of Grief And Love

Death is following meNipping at my heels.All the past yearLosing friendsLosing family.More I fearStill to lose.My mind is trappedWeighed down by griefReplaying memoriesIn constant loop.Wonder ifAllowing a kissWould have changed an outcome.No.I made the choiceI had to makeAt that stageIn my life’s journey.As nights lengthenCold winds blowAnxiety and depressionGrow ever worse.Finances tightLong fight aheadLoneliness growsStrongerContinue reading “Poem: Of Grief And Love”

Poem: Goodbye Grey One

On the day you diedFell asleepAnd left your bodyIt rainedAll day longAnd all night.I thought this fittingAs my lifeWas suddenlyMuch emptierMuch darker.We knew this time was comingYou had a good long run.When you startedStruggling to breathMonths agoMy mind filledWith all the times shared:Memories made;Stories created;Sometimes frustrating;Sometimes frightening;Sometimes fun;Always filled with love.You were there for meWhenContinue reading “Poem: Goodbye Grey One”

Poem: When You Yearn To Die

When you feelThe darkness closing inCausing youTo yearn to die:Take a breathAnd another;Think of people you love.YesYou may feelYou do themMore harm than goodBut the fact you careIs no small thing.Remember alwaysBreath equals hopeA dead man has none.Know that things can changeWhen all seems lost.Find a reason to hold onAnd another.Keep fightingFor each next momentAndContinue reading “Poem: When You Yearn To Die”

Quotes on Grief

Today’s sermon in church, inspired by Walter Bruggeman’s book Reality, Grief, Hope: Three Urgent Prophetic Tasks, focused on the second of these tasks, namely grief. I found myself thinking of several of the sci-fi/fantasy series I know and love, because I tend to favor those series that acknowledge there is darkness, both in us andContinue reading “Quotes on Grief”

Poem: Never Enough

Broken, broken, brokenI feel so broken.I try and I sweat;I try and I bleed;I try and I break.My soul cries in anguishMy heart screams in agonyI give all of myselfAnd all that I have.And it isn’t enoughI’m never enough.The past haunts meThe future frightens me.I cry out to the Lord“Will I ever be enough?Can IContinue reading “Poem: Never Enough”