Solo Sex/Self Stimulation: February 2023 Reflections

This month, I am once again participating in the Feb-YOU-ary challenge with the wonderful Loyobo community. The activity for Day 10 was to show yourself love through physical intimacy with your own body. Such an activity is especially meaningful to me due my personal background and life experiences. I share them here in the hopesContinue reading “Solo Sex/Self Stimulation: February 2023 Reflections”

Book Review: What I Want To Talk About: How Autistic Interests Shape A Life by Pete Wharmby

This is an excellent book that really captures the critical role Special Interests play in the life of the neurodiverse. The author writes in an accessible manner and doesn’t shy away from the nuances of Special Interests, the good AND the bad. As an autistic myself, I resonated with much of what the author shared,Continue reading “Book Review: What I Want To Talk About: How Autistic Interests Shape A Life by Pete Wharmby”

Poem: Falling And Rising

I have done it againFailed at beingWho others need me to be.I do the best I canI’ve achieved so much moreThen ever before.Still I come up shortNot aware enough;Not strong enough;Not skilled enough;Not good enough.Not.Enough.I’m tiredOf letting people down;Of continually failing.The world is so dark right nowDays are shorterNights colder.My mind becomes cloudedBy grief andContinue reading “Poem: Falling And Rising”

Poem: Confronting Fear

FearIs an old companion.When I was youngIt ruled meIn ways obviousAnd hidden.I confronted itAnd I grew.Overcame many of my fearsSwore never to concede again.Yet fear is trickySubtle and ever present.New fears arriveOld fears return.The testIs to not give upHold onto hopeResist the slideInto anger and hate and despair.My destinyThe destiny of all who serve theContinue reading “Poem: Confronting Fear”

On Mental Health: Tips, Tricks and Advice

This post is inspired by Bell Let’s Talk Day. I acknowledge it’s problematic, as Bell’s corporate culture does not adequately support mental health, and talking about mental health one day a year does not undo stigma and marginalization the rest of the year–but I also do think the hashtag should be utilized for the fundingContinue reading “On Mental Health: Tips, Tricks and Advice”

Poem: Afraid To Touch

When I was youngLearning about pubertyI was curiousAnd oh, so afraid.I always loved deeplyBut was oh, so alone.Fascinated by my bodyBut afraid to touch.Afraid to grow.Afraid to explore.When I was a teenBecame a point of prideThat I had not succumbedTo my baser nature.But pride was a maskMask of fear and shame.It wasn’t untilI left myContinue reading “Poem: Afraid To Touch”

Poem: Body Talks

When I was youngI hated my body.Stomach always achingMuscles always hurting.Always too slow.Too small.Too boney.As I grew olderOnly got worse.Penis standing erectAt slightest stray thought.Heart always pounding.Everything too noisy.Too painful.Too overwhelming.Now I love my body.I know how to listenAs my body talks.When I grow sad or angryI know I need food.When I grow fatiguedI knowContinue reading “Poem: Body Talks”

Poem: Morning Struggles

I go to sleepFull of hopeThat this timeIt will be differentThat I’ll be able to wakeRested and readyTo workIn a proper place.I know I’m in troubleThe longer it takes meTo fall asleepThe more I wakeThrough the night.As I stumble out of bedHop in the showerHope water against skinWill wake meMy stomach screamsIn protestGuts fail meBetrayContinue reading “Poem: Morning Struggles”

Poem: What I Do For A Living

People always ask meWhat I do for a living.Wanting an answerThey can understandSomething definedBy wealth and stabilityBy age-old understanding.So I say to them“I’m setting up my own businessDoing office work from home”.But if I am honestThat is work more than livingLeading me towards deathNot life giving.I yearn to sayI amA Tai Chi practitioner,Christian mystic ,Swimmer,Continue reading “Poem: What I Do For A Living”

Poem: All Comes Down To Love

I amLost in the dark.Stuck in a funkTrappedIn a never endingDownward spiral.I clawI struggleI aimTo grow better.To overcomeTo masterMy ownBody and mind.Yet always I fall shortBecome convincedI’m doomedAlways to fail.Never achievingSociety’s expectations.ThenThrough the darknessSpeaks the voiceOf the Lord“It all comes down to love”.At those wordsMy heart feels peaceFor through I struggleTo earn wealthTo succeedIn jobContinue reading “Poem: All Comes Down To Love”